1/14 no sleep tonight

Sleep eludes me once again. Highlights and struggles of the day replay in my head. I try hard to lie still in bed. I was almost there, almost asleep when I heard a bump. The bump could have been a car, a child rolling in bed, or an sound from the heat of the furnace. Whatever that bump was I was wake.

I put my hair up in soft curlers. Added some sparkles to my nails and some 24 hour makeup to my face. I laid back down but the sounds of husband sleeping was enough to convince me to go down the stairs. Hopefully I’ll find something quiet to do and feel sleepy again soon. There is eight hours of work tomorrow that I really need some sleep for but it is too late now to take a sleep aid or I’ll never get up on time.

My husband is also having issue with joint pain. He has a degenerative disc disease which has already cause him to have a spinal fusion around 2002. I’m the only one working right now due to his health problems. He was trying to clean at a local truck stop that had showers, but his back couldn’t do the job and he was fired. He is now on my insurance and got to see a family doctor who has suggested he find an alternate way to make money besides what he is used to as although he has many health issue is still young.

I have no clue what my husband can do. He has done mostly retail, management, and maintenance. Right now he can’t lift over fifty pounds, bending and twisting hurts, can’t hear well on the phone, and having many joint pain issue. Tomorrow he goes to a Rheumatologist to try to figure out the pain. The family doctor suggested he may have RA too.

He has applied for unemployment but it can be up to eight weeks before we hear an answer. He also had to call every hour from nine to four to get through to unemployment in Tennessee. He would be on hold for twenty minutes then a message would say “I’m sorry but we are expiring high call volume, Please try your call again later.” Then he would be hung up on. We did this two weeks ago, but when he went to certify on Sunday they told him his year had ended. When he got through it was because they open an old case from when he switched employers in 2011/2012. It is now Jan 2013 and a new unemployment claim. (We never did get unemployment from 2011/2012 as he was working soon after the file date.)

I never wanted a full time career. I wanted to be the house wife. Now I’m once again bring home the money to keep everything running. So odd how life turns out. The one skill that has lead me all this way was simple typing. I’m not the best spelling. Spell check is my friend. Even as a writer, I need a good editor.

Work today was a little rough. The weather is rainy and cold. I’m starting to think sleep is eluding me due to stress. I’m normally good at dealing with stress but this is a bit too much. I’m worried about the bills, my husband being able to work at all, the kids wants and needs. I just though my husband would be the provider and I would help. At least we now have good insurance and can both get medical care. Many people don’t have that. We had blown through are deductible on January 9^th. Thankfully we have an out of pocket expense cap, which we are half way to. I’ll most likely be spending the next 11 months paying off the medical bills.

I’m still taking Orencia, but missed taking it last week due to a nice cold that hit everyone. I’ll take it again this Wednesday, but so far I don’t see the big benefit. I’m still very sore. My Rheumatologist said it may take six weeks. Well we started with the IV, switched to self injections when I got sick, then I had to skip last week from being sick again. So I don’t know maybe it needs more time. My next appointment with my Rheumatologist is Feb 25. If no improvement by then I’ll file my complain with my doctor. It’ll be back to the drawing board.